I'm really dragging this morning. Tried to sound positive on the weight-loss forum I belong to...blah, blah, blah. I didn't eat anything that's bringing me down today, but I don't have any energy this morning. Not enough sleep last night. It's just 9 a.m. and I already want to take a nap, but I have to go to the market first.
I was sick all weekend, fever, aches, etc. I didn't make good eating choices, so I'm back up to 310 this morning. It was the chicken noodle soup. I made it from scratch, I used whole wheat noodles, it was tasty, I wanted comforting, I ate a lot.
I watched some reruns of Biggest Loser and Last 10 Lbs. Bootcamp over the weekend. That was a mistake. I've been feeling emotionally low ever since. Bad cycle of grinding through memories and anger regarding ex-spouse, parents, poor life-choices. It was a really defeatest weekend! My best girlfriend is in China right now and I can't afford to call my therapist, so I'm trying to muscle through my funk on my own. I hope I can get through this soon, because I can't seem to get my head together to work on homework. I did clean the house and get all the laundry done and put away yesterday, so I'm not having to deal with clutter on top of a funk.
I miss my maids! I wonder if my boys would be willing to wash my windows and get all the dust and cobwebs obliterated for some money.
Today I'm making bread. I enjoy making bread. I have an amazing cookbook, The Bread Bible, by Rose Levy Berenbaum. Her recipe for "Soft White Sandwich Loaf" is perfect. Of couse, I modify it by reducing the unbleached flour by half and adding whole wheat and a little gluten flour. It makes a really lovely loaf, although not quite so lofty as the original recipe. The weather is cooler today, in the high 70s, so I'm really getting into the mood for baking. Maybe I'll make some monkey bread too!
(I know, there's lots of butter and sugar in that recipe, but I'm trying to figure out how to cut back on that. Tomorrow is my little boy's 12th birthday and I want to make some of his favorites for him. I've been playing the Buckwheat Boyz' "Ice Cream and Cake" from the Baskin Robbins website all weekend to get him excited for his birthday. No party with lots of presents and friends this year, just a small ice cream cake, one friend, and a couple of meaningful gifts. I'm getting him a guitar tomorrow and his big brother is getting him the newest Nerf gun.)