I can't give up on losing weight and getting healthy. Every day I wake up and recommit myself to the cause. I didn't always think this way. My weight-loss struggles were once all about dropping pounds and looking good, getting into a new wardrobe. There's much more at stake for me now; a broader sense of purpose drives me, and success is measured on multiple fronts.
The bathroom scale still figures prominently. I don't like that, but I can't seem to give it up. I just weighed in again. 312. Earlier in the week I was back up to 314. I am determined to break past 310 by Tuesday when I go see my doctor. That will mean a 10 lb loss since I saw her last. I'm already looking for the lightest clothes and shoes I can wear that day. Definitely going for the flip flops!
I really do have a different mindset this time. I guess visualizing the goals has become a habit, which is good. Recommiting every morning has become a habit. If I think about going off-plan with the food options, it's more of an effort or a rebellious train of thought...a decisive process. There is no deliberate choice to eat off-plan or overeat. Those are usually impulsive choices.
I was just reading about impulsive eating. A study was conducted (of course) that shows subjects ate an average of 44% more food than when eating with other people. When I'm not focused on what I'm doing, we easily lose track, and eating in social situations easily distracts me. This is where planning ahead helps the most. But I don't always eat in social situations, and most of my impulsive choices occur when I'm alone or out and about on my own.
Big downfalls in the past were the fast food restaurants. I think I'm about cured of that. I still go, but it's a planned excursion, and no more than once a month. I don't drink the sodas there, I don't order fries. I get a small burger and a salad. And I have to eat inside or take it home to eat. No eating in the car. I only drink beverages in the car, so I do stop at Starbucks. But there are only two items I will order from there, the venti-unsweetened-shaken passion iced tea or the grande-nonfat-cappuccino. And not so much on the cappuccinos any more. My lactose-intolerance has increased and I'm really quite farty for hours afterward!
When I'm at home, that's where my impulses really fail me, in the afternoons. It's when I make choices like having spaghetti for dinner, and I cook an entire package and eat more than one (or two) servings. It's when I see that my kids haven't finished everything in their plates so I do it instead. Even if what I cooked is healthy and perfect, overeating is overeating. And I'll do it despite the fact that I'm no longer hungry. So this is where the battleground exists.
I have to figure out something that helps me keep focus in the late afternoons and during dinner. I'm looking at Yogic Breathing lately, and the alternate nostril breathing is touted as the most effective for calming the mind and benefitting the nervous system. I will start doing that before every meal at home, and before I go to bed at night.
By the way, last night I slept nine hours. I really needed it. Today I'm awake, very alert, and only feel a minimum of achiness. I'm going to take some Excedrin and ride this energy level as long as I can today. We'll see what I can get done.