Saturday, May 21, 2011

The mother of all refeeds

Been keeping control over my daily caloric intake pretty well this week. Didn't seem to matter, however. I have popped back up to 304 lbs today. I know it's water retention. The minute the temps start to pop up, my ankles swell up.

Other contributing factors are a desk job, and I haven't gone to Pilates or done any exercise all week. I promise to be back on track by Monday, and tomorrow I will be doing some gardening most of the day. The desk job will continue to be an issue, unless I decide to get myself one of those standing desks. I was going to use my FitBall instead of the desk chair...

So I'm a little freaked that I didn't drop below 300 lbs. I so wanted to make that big announcement. But I have bumped into 300 lbs so many times, only to creep back up. Today, after my disappointing weigh-in, I lashed out - at Starbucks, with one of their Artisan Bacon Egg and Gouda sandwiches. And then, I admit it, at lunch I made a run for McDonald's and got a whole meal, Angus bacon and cheese burger, medium fries and a Coke. And then tonight, I had lentil soup at my mother's house. And finally, just now, a big glass of milk and a Hostess Lemon Pie. I ate just short of 3000 calories.

I used to eat like this, only more, years ago, when I was really struggling with depression and sleep apnea, just after I had my first child. I gained most of my excess weight in those months. I don't know why I made these food choices today. I don't feel anything at all like I did back then. I don't think. I do have a really good sugar buzz going on now!

So, I'm going to do what a lot of normally thin people do. I'm not going to analyze this any more. And tomorrow I'm going to wake up and get back to my normal, healthy choices. I just had to write this all down and release it into cyberspace.

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