I got on the scale before having my first meal of the day...300 lbs. Today I weighed in at 300 lbs. And after today, I never, ever have to say that again!
I wish I could feel some joy in this, but not just yet. I lost my little dog this week. She was hit by a car and died on the way to the veterinary emergency clinic. I'm really heartbroken about this. I didn't eat for two days. Nor did I exercise. I cleaned house instead. That's all I seem to be able to do.
I'm sure with time I'll feel a surge of joy and sense of accomplishment about the fat loss. Maybe once I'm below 290 lbs. When I hit 270 lbs, I will have officially lost all my "baby fat" from having kids, 20 years ago. At 240 lbs, that's the weight I was when I had to start taking steroidal meds for asthma and bronchitis issues. I really packed on the pounds then! 225 lbs is how much I weighed when I got married. 175 lbs is how much I weighed when I met the X and somehow decided I needed to start dieting. It's my goal weight. When I get to 175 lbs, that's when I'll find a good plastic surgeon and we'll discuss what excess skin needs to go.
I'm looking forward to creating a positive history for myself once I've reached my goal weight. Plenty of time to enjoy life between now and then too. Not waiting to start living. Just pausing to miss my little Chloe. I feel so grateful for having her in my life, even if it was only for a year.