Last week I had the opportunity to go to a Kazakh home. The couple who own the home were not at home. I actually went with a friend to see their maid, who does sewing for people. My friend was having a smaller jacket made out of a gorgeous coat with traditional embroidered trim from Turkmenistan.
Anyway, a lot of energy seemed to be involvec with trying to explain to this little woman what needed to be done for the jacket (and I was invited to go along because I'm an experienced seamstress too), between three different languages flying through the air, and a phone call to her boss who was in the US to aid in translation, we got it all figured out. There was a lot of laughing going on, and this woman seemed to be happy to work on the project. She was actually a very knowledgable seamstress.
So, what I'm getting to is that in one fun moment of multicultural camraderie, this little woman felt the need to come over and grab my obvious belly with both hands and give it a good shake. I don't know why, and there was no way to ask her why in that moment, but it seemed to give her some gratification for some strange reason. I was at a complete loss of how to respond, so I resorted to my passive aggressive nature and stepped out of the conversation and backed out of the room. And I decided I wasn't ever coming back while her employer wasn't there.
Eventually, though not quickly enough for me, we left the little maid to her own devices and headed home. My friend was a bit embarrased for me, and felt the need to try to explain what was going on, but didn't really have any good explanations for me...at least none that made me feel better about this little woman. I chalked the experience up to another multicultural moment, where cultures didn't understand boundaries and behaviors. It wasn't my first experience with it.
I went to a corporate function today. There was a presentation given about possible international employment opportunities. A light refreshment was provided, most of which was fried and greasy-looking. I chose to skip the snacks and just had a bottle of water. I sat at the back of the room and just took in what was being said. At the end of the presentation, I made my way to the front of the room, towards the speaker, in order to thank him for his presentation. I was stopped by one of my neighbors midway, who felt the need to share with me that she saw that I hadn't gone over to eat any of the snacks. Was that an attempt at a conversation? I just smiled and offered that the food didn't look too appetizing to me. And she smiled back and continued on out of the room. No, it wasn't a conversation. It was someone telling me she was watching me. (And it wasn't her first time, either.)
I've been trying to process those two events today. I guess the behavior of those two people was more about them than it was about me. Perhaps I've already spent more time thinking about their actions/comments than they did.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
The woman in the mirror
I've lost another five pounds since coming home to Kazakhstan. I think it helped that I had bronchitis for a week and didn't feel like eating! I drank a lot of green tea with lemon, along with extra water, and the tea habit seems to be something I enjoy now, so I'm staying with it.
In my bedroom, there's an oval, standing mirror. It's positioned so that when I wake up and sit up in bed, the first thing I see is a vision of myself. I didn't put it there on purpose, and I'm seriously thinking about moving it.
Mirrors remind me how big I am. They tell me that no matter how much I can dead lift, no matter how many miles I've walked, no matter how many pounds of fat I've lost, I'm still a big, fleshy, jiggly woman of middle age. And when I look in the mirror, I don't believe I see the real me.
Every once in a while, my younger son wants me to flex and feel my biceps and triceps. They're actually getting quite hard. But the muscles are way deep in there, under the fat and loose flesh. My son is impressed with my muscles. My husband is not.
I found a website on developing a positive body image at any size. http://www.bodypositive.com/ I haven't read what they have to say yet. That's my assignment for today. I hope it helps, because what I'm working towards is matching up how I feel about myself on the inside with what I see on the outside. On the inside, I feel like Zena, Warrior Princess! I want to kick ass, with style! On the outside, I feel like an amorphous lump. With hair. I do have nice hair.
Not trying to sound self-deprecating here, just trying to problem solve. It's my method. Address the issue, research, discuss and apply findings. I'll let you know what I learn.
In the meantime, today I'm going back to the gym, after a week off due to illness. Five minutes of warm-up on the treadmill, some stretching, upper body weight training, core exercises, and 45 minutes on the track. I'm dressed...let's go!
In my bedroom, there's an oval, standing mirror. It's positioned so that when I wake up and sit up in bed, the first thing I see is a vision of myself. I didn't put it there on purpose, and I'm seriously thinking about moving it.
Mirrors remind me how big I am. They tell me that no matter how much I can dead lift, no matter how many miles I've walked, no matter how many pounds of fat I've lost, I'm still a big, fleshy, jiggly woman of middle age. And when I look in the mirror, I don't believe I see the real me.
Every once in a while, my younger son wants me to flex and feel my biceps and triceps. They're actually getting quite hard. But the muscles are way deep in there, under the fat and loose flesh. My son is impressed with my muscles. My husband is not.
I found a website on developing a positive body image at any size. http://www.bodypositive.com/ I haven't read what they have to say yet. That's my assignment for today. I hope it helps, because what I'm working towards is matching up how I feel about myself on the inside with what I see on the outside. On the inside, I feel like Zena, Warrior Princess! I want to kick ass, with style! On the outside, I feel like an amorphous lump. With hair. I do have nice hair.
Not trying to sound self-deprecating here, just trying to problem solve. It's my method. Address the issue, research, discuss and apply findings. I'll let you know what I learn.
In the meantime, today I'm going back to the gym, after a week off due to illness. Five minutes of warm-up on the treadmill, some stretching, upper body weight training, core exercises, and 45 minutes on the track. I'm dressed...let's go!
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Back in the saddle again
OMG!!! It's been a month since I last blogged! Thank you to my friends who sent me gentle, loving reminders to get back to writing. I am back home now, in Atyrau, Kazakhstan, and have overcome the jet lag. So, life goes on...
I allowed myself a few days of real rest to recuperate from travel. As I age, it gets harder and harder to overcome the effects of jet lag. But I do have a few tricks that help me through that week.
I allowed myself a few days of real rest to recuperate from travel. As I age, it gets harder and harder to overcome the effects of jet lag. But I do have a few tricks that help me through that week.
- Get back to a regular sleep routine - It's best to establish a wake up time as soon as possible. It seems that's the key factor in getting back to a regular sleep cycle. I did, at first, go to bed at a normal time and then wake up around 3 to 4 a.m. for a few days. I kept the lights down low until morning, and after about three days, I could sleep through till 6 a.m. I got really sleepy about 3 p.m., and am still experiencing that after a week and a half. I try to keep myself to a 20 minute nap, if I do choose to lay down.
- Don't let anyone know you're back - I needed a few days to deal with cultural re-entry shock, and I was not prepared to be inundated with phone calls and emails from neighbors, who seemed to be hovering in anticipation of my return. Really, I'm not all that popular around here, but there seem to be some people who felt the need to get me up to speed on the goings-on in the community, the latest gossip, and to interrogate me about my family and my trip. It was fun to go in with a plan; saying, "I really don't want to talk about that right now," was really quite gratifying!
- After extended absences from home, allow for the fact that some things might have changed around the house - my husband and maid have hidden all my stuff! It took me three days to find nearly everything, and now I'm having to rearrange the kitchen and the pantry. I may have to label cabinets in Russian before I leave again next month for the summer. I wonder if they sell Russian labelers around here...
I will write more later this week, specifically about my road to good health. Right now, I have to go make my own Mother's Day breakfast.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
I forgot to tell you about my mother's bathroom scale...
You know how in "Sleeping Beauty" the Evil Step-Mother had that mirror for self-validation? My (evil) mother has a scale, which she uses to heap her crap on whomever visits her and makes the mistake of stepping on it. Ok, who puts a bathroom scale in the guest bathroom?
"Scale, scale, on the floor, who's ass can't fit through the door?" OMG!!! It's still me!
I swear, that scale weighs me 10lbs. heavier than what my bathroom scale, my doctor's scale, and the gym's scale all say...and by the way, they all concur within two pounds.
I'm never getting on that thing again!
"Scale, scale, on the floor, who's ass can't fit through the door?" OMG!!! It's still me!
I swear, that scale weighs me 10lbs. heavier than what my bathroom scale, my doctor's scale, and the gym's scale all say...and by the way, they all concur within two pounds.
I'm never getting on that thing again!
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Planning for fitness success while on the road
I'm currently away from my townhouse, making my way south to L.A. for my best friend's wedding. I am the Matron! This week, I've stopped off at my parents' house in Central California to make my dress. (My mom is helping me with the fittings...we're both seamstresses.) I have accepted that I'm not going to reach my goal of 300 lbs. by the wedding (now less than three weeks away). That's just stupid. But that doesn't mean I'm giving up on achieving what I can by that event, so I'm continuing with the healthy, balanced eating and the exercise. And I'm now convinced that to gain success in the weight loss arena, planning and execution are everything!
When I packed up the car yesterday, I remembered to include fitness DVDs. No matter where I am, I can toss one of those in my laptop's DVD slot and get in some fat-burning activity. This morning, I did my Gaiam A.M. Stretch DVD, followed by the full workout of my Core Rhythms DVD. That was hours ago, and my abs are still fussing at me! This is good. Still, it was strange to have my son and my mother hovering in the kitchen, watching me exercise. In the past, I would have given up out of embarrasment. I just don't like being watched when I'm exercising at home. But this time, it just didn't seem to bother me as much. I guess I'm really on this path towards losing the excess weight, and nothing is going to get in my way!
Tomorrow I have to leave the house early to take my son on a field trip to the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory, but afterwards, it is my plan to go for a long walk around a nearby park, and then spend an hour with my Spri-tube in a good upper-body resistance workout back at my parents' house. I can also do some lunges and squats and other lower body stuff to strengthen my knee support. I found a cool site for that here.
Since I only have osteoarthritis (and nothing worse, thank God!), I can do exercises (as long as no deep squats are involved) to strengthen my quadriceps, hamstrings and hip abductors and adductors. I started taking SamE as well as a joint health supplement that includes glucosamine/chondroitin. After just a few weeks, I'm already feeling better, and recovery is much faster after exercise. As long as I move my joints throughout the day (and avoid sitting for long periods of time), I feel pretty good about moving around.
We head for Los Angeles on Friday. My girlfriend is a member of 23-Hour Fitness. I got on their website and they will let me come in to try out their facility for free for a week. There are other gyms in the area that offer similar deals, so while I'm in L.A., I have no excuses for avoiding going to a gym to get in some quality time with the weights. And by the day of the wedding, I may still have to take in the seams of my matron-of-honor dress!
I'm hoping to have a good picture of myself in that dress to post on this blog. It's a Vogue Pattern #2607 by Guy Laroche. I'm making it of a periwinkle Thai dupioni silk. I bought a really cute pair of champagne-colored strappy sandals and a blue/cream mother-of-pearl handbag to go with it. I'll be wearing my new diamond bracelet with it. I just need an amazing pair of pave CZ earrings to complete the outfit.
One thing I learned from my 3-hour drive to my parents' house on Monday, that I really need to prepare for meals as well fitness. I didn't eat a really good breakfast that morning. (I indulged with my son...homemade biscuits and gravy - something I make once a year.) Then we left just before lunchtime and I thought I could make it without stopping, but during a brief bathroom break at a gas station I was distracted by a really creamy-looking egg salad sandwich in the deli case. I caved, and later looked up the calories online. 700 Calories!!! I'm so glad I skipped the soda! So, on Friday, when we head south, I'm going to be prepared! I'm packing homemade tuna-salad sandwiches, made with water-packed tuna, lots of chopped celery, olives, parsley and spring onions, a little mayonnaise, and some non-fat yogurt. On whole wheat bread. We'll also have apples, carrots and a couple of individual-sized bags of Sun Chips, and my trusty Luna Bar and unsweetened Almond Breeze for snack. Plus, lots of water and homemade iced herbal tea. And when we stop to eat lunch and snack, we can do some walking and stretching to keep the joints from stiffening up.
Saturday will be the bridal shower. It's an afternoon tea, which no doubt means tea sandwiches, cakes and other illicit delicacies. Perhaps we'll spend the morning walking around Hermosa Beach before heading for the shower. And I'll make sure to practice being mindful as I'm popping finger sandwiches. Maybe I can play with my food some, slowly peeling off the layers of the sandwiches, making patterns in the frosting of the cake, and I'll drink lots of tea, which will cause me to visit the little matron's room a lot more frequently.
I'll try to keep in touch over the next three weeks to let you know how I'm progressing. My girlfriend has no Internet access at her place! OMG!!!
When I packed up the car yesterday, I remembered to include fitness DVDs. No matter where I am, I can toss one of those in my laptop's DVD slot and get in some fat-burning activity. This morning, I did my Gaiam A.M. Stretch DVD, followed by the full workout of my Core Rhythms DVD. That was hours ago, and my abs are still fussing at me! This is good. Still, it was strange to have my son and my mother hovering in the kitchen, watching me exercise. In the past, I would have given up out of embarrasment. I just don't like being watched when I'm exercising at home. But this time, it just didn't seem to bother me as much. I guess I'm really on this path towards losing the excess weight, and nothing is going to get in my way!
Tomorrow I have to leave the house early to take my son on a field trip to the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory, but afterwards, it is my plan to go for a long walk around a nearby park, and then spend an hour with my Spri-tube in a good upper-body resistance workout back at my parents' house. I can also do some lunges and squats and other lower body stuff to strengthen my knee support. I found a cool site for that here.
Since I only have osteoarthritis (and nothing worse, thank God!), I can do exercises (as long as no deep squats are involved) to strengthen my quadriceps, hamstrings and hip abductors and adductors. I started taking SamE as well as a joint health supplement that includes glucosamine/chondroitin. After just a few weeks, I'm already feeling better, and recovery is much faster after exercise. As long as I move my joints throughout the day (and avoid sitting for long periods of time), I feel pretty good about moving around.
We head for Los Angeles on Friday. My girlfriend is a member of 23-Hour Fitness. I got on their website and they will let me come in to try out their facility for free for a week. There are other gyms in the area that offer similar deals, so while I'm in L.A., I have no excuses for avoiding going to a gym to get in some quality time with the weights. And by the day of the wedding, I may still have to take in the seams of my matron-of-honor dress!
I'm hoping to have a good picture of myself in that dress to post on this blog. It's a Vogue Pattern #2607 by Guy Laroche. I'm making it of a periwinkle Thai dupioni silk. I bought a really cute pair of champagne-colored strappy sandals and a blue/cream mother-of-pearl handbag to go with it. I'll be wearing my new diamond bracelet with it. I just need an amazing pair of pave CZ earrings to complete the outfit.
One thing I learned from my 3-hour drive to my parents' house on Monday, that I really need to prepare for meals as well fitness. I didn't eat a really good breakfast that morning. (I indulged with my son...homemade biscuits and gravy - something I make once a year.) Then we left just before lunchtime and I thought I could make it without stopping, but during a brief bathroom break at a gas station I was distracted by a really creamy-looking egg salad sandwich in the deli case. I caved, and later looked up the calories online. 700 Calories!!! I'm so glad I skipped the soda! So, on Friday, when we head south, I'm going to be prepared! I'm packing homemade tuna-salad sandwiches, made with water-packed tuna, lots of chopped celery, olives, parsley and spring onions, a little mayonnaise, and some non-fat yogurt. On whole wheat bread. We'll also have apples, carrots and a couple of individual-sized bags of Sun Chips, and my trusty Luna Bar and unsweetened Almond Breeze for snack. Plus, lots of water and homemade iced herbal tea. And when we stop to eat lunch and snack, we can do some walking and stretching to keep the joints from stiffening up.
Saturday will be the bridal shower. It's an afternoon tea, which no doubt means tea sandwiches, cakes and other illicit delicacies. Perhaps we'll spend the morning walking around Hermosa Beach before heading for the shower. And I'll make sure to practice being mindful as I'm popping finger sandwiches. Maybe I can play with my food some, slowly peeling off the layers of the sandwiches, making patterns in the frosting of the cake, and I'll drink lots of tea, which will cause me to visit the little matron's room a lot more frequently.
I'll try to keep in touch over the next three weeks to let you know how I'm progressing. My girlfriend has no Internet access at her place! OMG!!!
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Fitting fitness goals into family life
I have really been struggling the last four days. I find myself losing my resolve to stay on track with the healthy eating, stealthy saboteurs have left illicit snack contraband all around my house, and I have blown off my exercise schedule completely so that I can be more accomodating for my family's needs. Getting back together with my family is not working for me!
It started with a couple of poor meal choices while traveling. Calorically, I stayed under my limit that sustains my body for the day, but I still ate more than I normally do (I try to maintain a 300 to 500 calorie daily deficit). I chose foods with higher fat contents that I usually do, as well as a higher sodium content. I didn't get all my water in for about four days running, and I'm seriously retaining fluids now. So, even though I broke the 320 lbs. mark on Thursday morning, I popped back up by six pounds as of today. And today, even though we're not traveling now and we're back in our vacation home, I stupidly prepared corned beef for dinner. At 11 p.m., I feel like a puffer fish!
I exercised today, and while we were traveling I tried to walk as much as possible every day. I walked outside, in hilly places, but just not very fast or very far. In order to get back into my exercise routine today, I had to ditch the family for a couple of hours. When they returned from their errands, they brought back roasted and salted pistachios, sesame candies and sweet potato chips fried in olive oil from the health food stored. My young son kept saying, "Look Mom! They're healthy! From the health food store!" And I was urged to take a taste of everything. I am so glad I wasn't at all hungry, or I would have eaten through that whole bag of chips. They were delicious! I only ate three chips...and two pistacios...and a couple of sesame candies (they're my favorites). I wasn't happy that I caved to the treats. Not beating myself up, just not healthy.
After dinner, I ate a bowl of Fiber One cereal for dessert. I wasn't hungry at the time, but I was afraid that if I got hungry I'd be tempted to head for something off the menu. The cereal is staying with me, so I'm good to go to bed now. After I drink more water. I hope I pee my brains out by morning!
On Thursday my husband the saboteur leaves to fly home and I'll just be left with my youngest son at home with me. He's my partner in the weight battle. He's got 40 lbs. to lose, and he was joining me today while I was stretching and doing my Core Rhythms DVD workout. He thought it was fun! We're partnering up to get him ready for the Presidential Fitness test coming up soon for him. We did some math together and figured that he could be down to his fighting weight by the time he starts fith grade. He's all for conciously making healthy choices everyday, and I promised him he could have good ice cream one night on the weekend, if he really wanted it. I can set the daily routine when it's just the two of us.
I realized this week how much my husband doesn't eat consciously, and how much his attitudes about food affect my self-image. He's one of those people that is constantly on the move to accomplish things daily and then will stop to eat when he remembers to. (And he makes really poor choices at that time.) He's annoyed with me for having to stop to eat more frequently. He doesn't understand why I can't just eat once and then keep up with him. I've tried to explain about the hypoglycemia, and how eating much smaller meals more frequently, while inefficient if you're only concerned with production on a daily basis (OMG!!! He's such an engineer!), is best for maintaining a faster metabolism in a human body. He understands...in theory.
I am just going to have to assert my needs more. If he needs a thinner wife before he can love her effectively, then he has to support the behaviors that will get him the thinner wife. I have not been very good at standing up for myself around him. Doing so now is a change for me, and it's causing some amount of emotional stress in our marriage. And I don't know how to deal with it now that I'm not eating through it!
Actually, I do know how to deal with it. I can sit with my fears and deliberately feel them. I can roll around in the emotions for a bit, and then I can calm myself enough to see past the initial panic and find the solution. I usually land on my feet...and for now, if I land on my ass, well, there's a lot of cushion back there! I do have the opportunity to practice managing the fears. Lots and lots of opportunities. Eventually, I may even get annoyed with the fearfulness and eliminate it from my life altogether. Like my favorite author Mark Twain once said, "I've seen many troubles in my time, only half of which ever came true."
I'm actually happy to see how upset I get about losing ground with the weight loss, and I'm happy that I don't like my exercise routine interrupted. It means that I am owning that part of my efforts now. Gaining ground towards good health, losing weight and taking the time to exercise are my rewards!
Ok, I feel better now. But I see I'm up way too late tonight. I'm losing valuable calorie-burning sleep time!
It started with a couple of poor meal choices while traveling. Calorically, I stayed under my limit that sustains my body for the day, but I still ate more than I normally do (I try to maintain a 300 to 500 calorie daily deficit). I chose foods with higher fat contents that I usually do, as well as a higher sodium content. I didn't get all my water in for about four days running, and I'm seriously retaining fluids now. So, even though I broke the 320 lbs. mark on Thursday morning, I popped back up by six pounds as of today. And today, even though we're not traveling now and we're back in our vacation home, I stupidly prepared corned beef for dinner. At 11 p.m., I feel like a puffer fish!
I exercised today, and while we were traveling I tried to walk as much as possible every day. I walked outside, in hilly places, but just not very fast or very far. In order to get back into my exercise routine today, I had to ditch the family for a couple of hours. When they returned from their errands, they brought back roasted and salted pistachios, sesame candies and sweet potato chips fried in olive oil from the health food stored. My young son kept saying, "Look Mom! They're healthy! From the health food store!" And I was urged to take a taste of everything. I am so glad I wasn't at all hungry, or I would have eaten through that whole bag of chips. They were delicious! I only ate three chips...and two pistacios...and a couple of sesame candies (they're my favorites). I wasn't happy that I caved to the treats. Not beating myself up, just not healthy.
After dinner, I ate a bowl of Fiber One cereal for dessert. I wasn't hungry at the time, but I was afraid that if I got hungry I'd be tempted to head for something off the menu. The cereal is staying with me, so I'm good to go to bed now. After I drink more water. I hope I pee my brains out by morning!
On Thursday my husband the saboteur leaves to fly home and I'll just be left with my youngest son at home with me. He's my partner in the weight battle. He's got 40 lbs. to lose, and he was joining me today while I was stretching and doing my Core Rhythms DVD workout. He thought it was fun! We're partnering up to get him ready for the Presidential Fitness test coming up soon for him. We did some math together and figured that he could be down to his fighting weight by the time he starts fith grade. He's all for conciously making healthy choices everyday, and I promised him he could have good ice cream one night on the weekend, if he really wanted it. I can set the daily routine when it's just the two of us.
I realized this week how much my husband doesn't eat consciously, and how much his attitudes about food affect my self-image. He's one of those people that is constantly on the move to accomplish things daily and then will stop to eat when he remembers to. (And he makes really poor choices at that time.) He's annoyed with me for having to stop to eat more frequently. He doesn't understand why I can't just eat once and then keep up with him. I've tried to explain about the hypoglycemia, and how eating much smaller meals more frequently, while inefficient if you're only concerned with production on a daily basis (OMG!!! He's such an engineer!), is best for maintaining a faster metabolism in a human body. He understands...in theory.
I am just going to have to assert my needs more. If he needs a thinner wife before he can love her effectively, then he has to support the behaviors that will get him the thinner wife. I have not been very good at standing up for myself around him. Doing so now is a change for me, and it's causing some amount of emotional stress in our marriage. And I don't know how to deal with it now that I'm not eating through it!
Actually, I do know how to deal with it. I can sit with my fears and deliberately feel them. I can roll around in the emotions for a bit, and then I can calm myself enough to see past the initial panic and find the solution. I usually land on my feet...and for now, if I land on my ass, well, there's a lot of cushion back there! I do have the opportunity to practice managing the fears. Lots and lots of opportunities. Eventually, I may even get annoyed with the fearfulness and eliminate it from my life altogether. Like my favorite author Mark Twain once said, "I've seen many troubles in my time, only half of which ever came true."
I'm actually happy to see how upset I get about losing ground with the weight loss, and I'm happy that I don't like my exercise routine interrupted. It means that I am owning that part of my efforts now. Gaining ground towards good health, losing weight and taking the time to exercise are my rewards!
Ok, I feel better now. But I see I'm up way too late tonight. I'm losing valuable calorie-burning sleep time!
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Be The Change
I've almost achieved my first 10% loss. I'm hoping to break the 35 lbs. in the next two weeks. As I'm approaching that first big milestone, I've decided that I will not be waiting until I lose all the weight before I go in for a complete makeover. Instead I will be making changes as I go along my journey, and I will be rewarding my efforts by doing things or adding things to me that would be something I anticipate being/doing when I lose all of the 175 lbs.
The first thing that changed was the hair. I got my hair cut and styled in a way I really like. It's cut short and assymetrically, and I get a lot of compliments! Even my husband, who has been fixated on my having long hair (and I have for the past three years) admitted that this new haircut totally suits me. Additionally, I got my hair colored, back to it's original color, a warm, dark brown. It makes me look younger, and I like that. I don't feel 47. I am not at all accepting that I'll be 50 in a very short period of time, and I am embracing that if 40 is the new 20, then I'm only 23!
Next, I have been going a little nuts with the shoes and handbags. Now my feet, well...historically speaking, 11D isn't a shoe size that says, "Hot damn!" On top of that, I'm a tall woman, and heavy, so heels have been absent from my wardrobe for some time. Plus, there were a few years there that I couldn't effectively chase toddlers in heels! The time for that has changed. I indulged myself and bought pairs of heeled shoes and a pair of heeled boots over the last two weeks. This last weekend was the first opportunity I had to wear them. I walked more slowly, with confidence, and really had fun owning those heels! And I paired those new shoes with some fun, colorful handbags that I found at Baghaus.com and Overstock.com.
To put it all together, I bought some new cosmetics and I have been using that (and caring for my skin) every day. I now have a skin care routine. This is all a part of what the thin me will be doing. I'm not waiting until then to achieve it. I am going to be the change now!
The first thing that changed was the hair. I got my hair cut and styled in a way I really like. It's cut short and assymetrically, and I get a lot of compliments! Even my husband, who has been fixated on my having long hair (and I have for the past three years) admitted that this new haircut totally suits me. Additionally, I got my hair colored, back to it's original color, a warm, dark brown. It makes me look younger, and I like that. I don't feel 47. I am not at all accepting that I'll be 50 in a very short period of time, and I am embracing that if 40 is the new 20, then I'm only 23!
Next, I have been going a little nuts with the shoes and handbags. Now my feet, well...historically speaking, 11D isn't a shoe size that says, "Hot damn!" On top of that, I'm a tall woman, and heavy, so heels have been absent from my wardrobe for some time. Plus, there were a few years there that I couldn't effectively chase toddlers in heels! The time for that has changed. I indulged myself and bought pairs of heeled shoes and a pair of heeled boots over the last two weeks. This last weekend was the first opportunity I had to wear them. I walked more slowly, with confidence, and really had fun owning those heels! And I paired those new shoes with some fun, colorful handbags that I found at Baghaus.com and Overstock.com.
To put it all together, I bought some new cosmetics and I have been using that (and caring for my skin) every day. I now have a skin care routine. This is all a part of what the thin me will be doing. I'm not waiting until then to achieve it. I am going to be the change now!
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